Sunday, August 15, 2010

"One's Life Improves from A to Z"

   I wish I was Lady Gaga. I know that wishing my life was different in any way is rather unhealthy, but I do. There are many reasons my life would be easier. I think I’ll just make a list.


1. If I were Lady Gaga then I could do whatever crazy things I wanted to and still be thought of as cool. People would just say, “well she’s lady Gaga” and think nothing of it. Like being old on not.


2. I could have awesome, insane hairdos that people would envy.


3. Lady Gaga makes tons of money off performing in front of millions of people. How cool is that?


4. I could jet around the world for my international concert tour, taking in the sights.


5. I would have the best clothes for all the publicity appearances and award ceremonies because, since I was Lady Gaga and expected to be weird, I could dress however I wanted, including a cocktail dress made of ties.


6. I saved the best for last: I could stomp around like a dinosaur every day. This would be the highlight of my day literally every day.


   This would be why life would be better as Lady Gaga. It is an undeniable fact. I am not Lady Gaga, and I am ok with that. Maybe I’ll just channel my inner Gaga sometimes.


There are twice as many kangaroos in Australia as there are people.


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