So after interviewing and sorting through the many applicants I have found my new arch-enemy: (insert drum roll) parallel parking. Watching it die in a hole with fire just doesn't seem enough, but coming up inventive and painful ways for it to perish isn't ladylike. I have identified the two reasons I hate parking between two cars. The first is that it is the last stumbling block in my quest to get a driver’s license. The second is that I am so close to mastering it but can't for the life of my figure out how to master the last part and get it right each time. Because of this I am funneling all of my frustrations, insecurities, and feelings of failure into the evil act, leaving me an emotional wreck. Last time I practiced my frustration escalated to seething anger and then left my in tears, sitting in my car crying pathetically to the Counting Crows' Accidentally in Love. It was really bad. Now since I want to keep up the trend of including a numbered list in all my blogs here are my tips about parallel parking:
1. Don't do it
2. Avoid it
3. Valet parking
For those of you (yes Google Searcher, I mean you) who can parallel park; I don't want to hear it. I may have to be unladylike and wish you a horrible fate.
American car horns beep in the tone of F.
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