“Falling in Love with Love”

  At the mall the other day I saw a poster with a couple kissing on it. Not too uncommon right? But they were advertising Lenscrafters. How is PDA going to sell more glasses? Because America is in love with the idea of being in love. I’ll be the first to admit I am. From Disney movies to television to books and even eyeglasses posters it seems as though everyone is happier in love.


   As a result now everyone thinks I should have a boyfriend. Here is the list of people I have come up with who I think believe I would be better off dating someone:


1. Myself- I think I should have a boyfriend, but don’t know how to acquire one.


2. My family- They’ve already started thinking who I should marry. When I tell them that’s bordering on arranged marriage they simply say, “how is your parents setting you up with a boy different from your friends setting you up with a boy?” I don’t know mom; it just is.


3. My friends who are dating someone- now that they have a boyfriend or girlfriend they think everyone else should get one too. They do couples only activities as if people who are dating are some kind of elite and exclusive club, but they don’t want to leave me out; they simply want me to meet the requirements to join.


4. My single friends- they don’t want to spend time and energy finding a date anymore than I do, but they do want the self-assurance that if they did there would be multiple guys (or girls) waiting to date them. Or they are the really nasty kind who wants me to date a specific boy (see family) because quote, “you two would be so cute together”. It’s almost never someone I actually like, therefore doomed from the start.


5. Society- for girls today it seems a boyfriend the accessory of the fall and I just must have one, or else be single not because I have no dates, but because I am too feminist to date any mere mortal man and have to shoo away suitors who I deem unacceptable until some sculpted bodied angel comes down and showers me in expensive gifts and shiny trinkets. Being self-conscious and single is a fashion don’t.


   This post is getting really long and rant-like so I will stop for today and post more tomorrow. To be continued.


The human heart creates enough pressure to squirt blood 30 feet (9m)