“We've got a Holiday that He Can’t Refuse”

   Oooh! Two posts in one day?! Yeah, I wrote the other one a long time ago (like a week) and just got around to posting today. Also, I realized I only had 2 posts for all of November and was filled with shame. So I am posting twice in one day.


   Thanksgiving was Thursday. You knew that. Now, tell me honestly: when did you start thinking about Christmas? Monday? Wednesday? Not until Friday? If you answered not until Friday I salute you. I saw way too many people, stores, cities, and TV commercials that were already at December 20th before I’d put away my Halloween costume. Whatever happened to Thanksgiving? It has now become my personal mission to raise this unloved and forgotten middle child of Halloween and Christmas up to its full glory. These are my ideas how:


1. Stop making people feel obligated to spend Thanksgiving with their families- I mean face it, you can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you can’t pick your relatives. Wait till Christmas to see them.


2. Re-image the Thanksgiving parade- It is way too Christmas oriented. We need more turkeys and pilgrims, less Santa. Speaking of Santa…


3. Make kids hate Santa- I mean, he watches them as they sleep and threatens to crush their happy, Christmas souls by not bringing them gifts if they are bad. Just admit that Santa is really Mommy or Daddy and stop making your children sit on pedo’s laps at the mall.


4. Create a nationwide Thanksgiving activity- Christmas has presents and 4th of July has fireworks, why can’t Thanksgiving have, I don’t know, relay races or ping pong ball fights?


5. Write Thanksgiving songs- make them catchy and about happy things like food and airports.


   See. Thanksgiving is sounding better already!


Thomas Jefferson thought the concept of Thanksgiving was “the most ridiculous idea I’ve ever heard.” (He would support my holiday spruce up)